


To Be Reassured

by WordsAblaze



Series: Witcher Fics [38]
Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Author Projecting onto Eskel (The Witcher), Caring Jaskier | Dandelion, Domestic Fluff, Eskel Has Anxiety (The Witcher), Eskel Needs a Hug (The Witcher), Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Eskel (The Witcher), Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Slice of Life, Soft Jaskier | Dandelion, also, and jaskier gives him one :), eskel's not allowed to be self-depreciating on jaskier's watch, jaskel, no beta we die like i wish anxiety would, no beta we die like jaskier doesn't
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:54:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28820313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WordsAblaze/pseuds/WordsAblaze
Summary: Sometimes anxiety can get the upper hand but Jaskier is more than happy to always remind Eskel of his true worth before it gets too bad...
Relationships: Eskel/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Witcher Fics [38]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1726360
Comments: 4
Kudos: 60





	To Be Reassured

**Author's Note:**

> this is essentially my emotional support au now so that's fun ??

Jaskier is a social butterfly.

Eskel, on the other hand, is more of a lone caterpillar.

It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy spending time with his family and his friends but more often than not, he’s perfectly happy to spend the day in a kitchen and focus on the latest recipes rather than the latest rumours. 

“Eskel, darling, are you _sure_ you don’t want to come?” Jaskier asks for what must be the seventeenth time in the last hour.

“I’m sure!” Eskel calls back without even looking up from the icing sugar he’s measuring out, mostly because he knows Jaskier will still be perfecting his eyeliner instead of looking at him.

Just as he’s plugging in the whisk, Jaskier saunters - yes, literally _saunters_ \- out of their bedroom and wraps his arms around Eskel from behind, his head leaning on Eskel’s shoulder as he locks his hands around Eskel’s waist the same way he always does.

“You smell great,” Eskel says,

Jaskier chuckles. “And you smell like icing so I think you win this time.”

“The _icing_ smells like icing, I still smell like boring ol’ me,” Eskel corrects, and he’s only half-joking. 

Jaskier pokes his stomach, apparently offended. “Excuse me, don’t insult my taste! I would never settle for someone boring.”

Eskel knows that, and it’s something he never quite manages to forget, especially on evenings like this where Jaskier has exciting plans with exciting friends and he would rather cease to exist than go anywhere further than the distance from the oven to the sofa. 

“Yeah well, you had a crush on an animated lion so your taste is pretty questionable,” Eskel replies before twisting in Jaskier’s embrace so he can catch his expression.

Sure enough, Jaskier seems endearingly torn between agreeing with him and wanting to throw something at him. Eventually, he settles on poking Eskel’s chest with one accusatory finger. “Literally _everyone_ had a thing for Scar, I’ll have you know!”

Eskel hums. “If you say so, sweetheart.” 

Jaskier’s exasperation melts into a soft smile at that and he leans forward, placing the briefest and, in accordance with the nickname, sweetest of kisses on the corner of Eskel's mouth, pulling back with a grin. “I do say so, sweet _lips._ ”

“That”- Eskel blinks slowly- “should not sound so cute. It’s a little creepy, if anything.”

Jaskier’s phone buzzes before he can argue otherwise and he jumps enough to startle both of them, nearing knocking over the bowl filled with icing-to-be. As Eskel steadies it, Jaskier curses. 

“I’m late, Pris has been outside for like ten minutes apparently. Sorry, Eskel, to be continued?” Jaskier asks.

“Have fun,” Eskel says, reaching up and brushing back a rebellious strand of Jaskier’s hair.

Jaskier smirks. “You know I will. I might have more if you’d come with us, though,” he says with a pout to rival Ciri’s all but magical puppy dog eyes.

“Leave already,” Eskel laughs, gently shoving Jaskier towards the door. 

“I love you too!” Jaskier yells over his shoulder just before their front door clicks shut and quiet descends upon the place.

Eskel sighs, just standing there and letting the silence wash over him for longer than he’d like to admit before getting back to the task at hand, forgetting all about everything else until he has all the colours he needs, the various bowls of fresh icing just waiting to be turned into a beautiful floral design.

Not that they do, because he realises he’s misplaced the new nozzles he'd bought for the piping bags. They don’t seem to be in any of the cupboards or drawers, they’re not even in the fridge - Jaskier has accidentally put baking things in there several times so it’s become a habit to check - and he really can’t think of where else they’d be.

He glares at the icing, promptly mumbles an apology to it because it’s not exactly at fault, and picks up his phone.

_\- did you move the nozzles?_

He sends the text without really thinking about it but feels guilty as soon as it's delivered, hoping that he hasn’t interrupted anything important and annoyed Jaskier by doing so.

_\- sorry if you’re busy_

**_\- nope_ **

**_\- maybe i put them in the wrong place again?_ **

Eskel smiles when the replies arrive within only a few minutes but they don’t really help and he just feels worse for pointlessly taking up Jaskier’s attention. 

_\- you didn’t_

_\- but it’s fine, i’ll manage_

He’s not expecting another reply after that, assuming that Jaskier will go back to the party, but his phone buzzes just as he turns the screen off.

**_\- u sound sad :(_ **

**_\- what happened?_ **

_\- nothing, don’t worry! all good :)_

Honestly, he has no idea why Jaskier would think he sounds sad. He’s not, he’s fine, he’s just had a minor setback and maybe he’ll have to delay the rest of the cake-decorating until tomorrow because he's somehow messed up but that doesn’t mean he’s sad. 

**_\- are u sure?_ **

_\- of course. go back to having fun instead of worrying x_

**_\- luv u <3_ **

_\- love you back_

Eskel smiles down at the screen before remembering that Jaskier might not love him as much if he keeps distracting him from having fun so he puts the phone down for good this time, frowning at each of the cupboards in turn and sighing loudly before starting to search again. 

Unfortunately, he’s no luckier the second time.

With a groan, he eventually gives up and flops onto the sofa instead, switching the TV on just for the sake of filling the silence. That turns out to be a questionable course of action because it turns on to a bake off show of some sort, which only reminds him that he’s failing to even find his equipment, never mind do justice to his icing designs or even possibly compare to the bakers he’s watching.

He ends up turning the TV back off with a loud curse. 

He must overthink himself asleep because the next thing he knows is Jaskier stumbling back into their apartment, his keys rattling before he makes his way to the living room, probably only detouring from their bedroom because Eskel had dozed off and left the lights on where he is.

“Eskel?” Jaskier whispers, smiling widely as he spots him.

“Hey, Jas,” Eskel mumbles, yawning. 

Jaskier lands beside him with a muted thump. “It’s late, why aren’t you in bed?”

Eskel’s first instinct is to argue it’s not _that_ late but a quick glance at the clock tells him it’s nearly half three in the morning so he just shrugs. “Fell asleep here, I guess.”

“You’re the one always telling _me_ not to do that, hypocrite,” Jaskier laughs, but when Eskel doesn’t even crack a smile, his smile fades into a worried frown. “Eskel? Hey, what’s wrong?”

 _He’s_ wrong, that’s what. The reply dies on Eskel’s tongue though, and he just shrugs again, biting his lip when Jaskier’s frown only deepens, hating that he’s the reason his favourite smile has been forced to disappear. 

Jaskier shifts and moves so he’s sat directly on Eskel’s lap, his legs bracketing Eskel’s waist as he looks down at him. “Hey, please don’t do that silence thing. Is this about the nozzles? Did you not find them?”

There’s so much sincere concern in Jaskier’s eyes that Eskel doesn’t have the heart to ignore him. “I probably would’ve messed it up anyway,” he manages, the words heavy.

Looping his arms around Eskel’s neck, Jaskier shakes his head. “You own a bakery, my dear, I don’t think you’d be capable of badly decorating a cake even if you tried.”

“Technically Vesemir owns it. I’m probably only still working there because he feels bad for me or-”

“No no, stop that,” Jaskier interrupts, gently hitting his forehead against Eskel’s, “you’re not allowed to be so mean to my favourite baker in the whole world.”

Inexplicably, Eskel wants to cry. “You’ve only met a handful of bakers, Jaskier, it doesn’t count.” 

But Jaskier stubbornly shakes his head, looking directly at him as if daring him to say he’s lying. “It does count! You make the best food in the entire universe. And you make _me_ food, which is more than enough anyway.”

It’s not. 

It can’t be, because just baking for someone isn’t enough to make them love you, to make them want to _stay_ in love with you, and he doesn’t know if he can do whatever is enough because Jaskier is so different and he likes different things and Eskel is most certainly way out of his league here so maybe he should just-

“Eskel! Look at me, please?” Jaskier asks, all but pleads. 

He does, and almost immediately regrets it; Jaskier looks like he’s about to cry. Because of him. Gods above, he's such an idiot.

“Do you trust me?” Jaskier asks, his voice quiet but laced with determination. Eskel finds himself nodding without even having to think about it and he’s rewarded with a small smile.

"You know I wouldn't lie to you, right?" Jaskier asks, but squints at himself before Eskel can answer him. "Well, except for like… stealing your shirts and stuff. But that doesn't count, right? It definitely doesn't. Anyway, you know I hate lying to you, right?" 

When Eskel nods, half a hesitant smile on his face, Jaskier leans forwards until their noses brush against each other's in such a delicate manner that Eskel literally shivers, then pulls back and plants a small kiss right on the very tip of Eskel's nose. 

"I wasn't lying when I said meeting you was one of the best moments of my life. And I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to spend as much time with you as possible, which is why we _live together_ , love."

Huh. That’s actually a pretty good point. If Jaskier wasn’t planning on staying in love with him, he probably wouldn’t have committed to sharing a home with him. Yes he can be something of a disaster when it comes to making decisions but not usually at such a life-changing level. 

“But I can’t…” Eskel trails off, conflicted.

Jaskier doesn’t seem to mind. “It’s okay. You don’t like parties and that’s okay! I swear on my guitar that it is. Plus, you come with me when it really matters, which is more than we can say for Geralt.”

Eskel snorts in amusement at the thought of Geralt attending the same kinds of parties as Jaskier; he likes socialising even less than Eskel and he’d probably fake his death to get out of an event. Everyone knows he only goes to a select few of Yennefer’s socials because he has a soft spot for her on account of Ciri. 

“And-” Jaskier nuzzles Eskel’s nose again, “-I love you so I don’t care if you text me when I’m busy. Not that being tipsy counts as being busy but you know what I mean.” 

“You don’t sound tipsy,” Eskel mumbles, more than aware that his face has tinted red at the sincerity of Jaskier’s reassurances because where he often fails to convince himself of them, his boyfriend does a really good job.

Jaskier grimaces. “I was tipsy when we texted, which was hours ago. And then I threw it up and switched to something else. I don’t actually know _what_ I ended up drinking but I trust Shani not to poison me, hippocratic oath and all.” 

Eskel laughs properly this time, abruptly reminded how ridiculous the man he’d fallen, crashed, leaped into love with is. He finally brings his own arms up and wraps them around Jaskier, who smiles happily as he does, his eyes shining with relief and affection. 

“I love you so much,” Eskel whispers. 

“I love you back, sweetlips,” Jaskier giggles, suddenly incapable of taking himself seriously. But that’s okay because it means Eskel has an excuse to kiss him to test the integrity of the nickname. 

Jaskier hums contently when he opens his eyes again, letting their foreheads press together as they catch their breath. “You still taste like sugar. Perhaps even a little sweeter this time.”

“That’s definitely something a cannibal would say,” Eskel breathes as if he’s not blushing furiously. 

“A cannibal who loves you very much,” Jaskier agrees with a yawn, letting his head fall onto Eskel’s shoulder as his eyes struggle to stay open, the party now catching up with him. 

Eskel’s face hurts with the force of his subsequent grin, his arms full of his sleepy boyfriend and his heart full of promises that, in a shocking turn of events, he is actually enough for their relationship to work and that both butterflies and caterpillars are worthy of loving and being loved in return.

“I appreciate it,” Eskel replies softly.

Jaskier just yawns once more so there’s no telling if he registered the words but there’s always tomorrow to make sure he knows how much he’s appreciated. Maybe Eskel will let him help decorate the cake as a way of showing his thanks, and maybe Jaskier won’t just ice their initials everywhere again. 

Either way, Eskel rearranges their limbs so they’re both tucked more comfortably around each other - there’s no way they’re making it to the bed because Jaskier has already drifted off and he’s too tired himself to carry them both there - before settling, a smile on his face as he falls asleep knowing he’d merely jumped to unnecessary and more importantly, _untrue_ conclusions earlier. 

Check and mate, anxiety. 

**Author's Note:**

> all i have to say is venting > plot  
> if you do happen to be reading this self-indulgent mess, i hope you enjoyed it <3


End file.
